


Te Adoro

by AeschylusRex



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV), Juliantina - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Mild Hurt/Comfort, good old fashioned sexual healing, soft juliantina, strap on, thirst muse strikes again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-10-29 21:21:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17815718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeschylusRex/pseuds/AeschylusRex
Summary: Juliana still struggles sometimes to trust that everything will be okay, but Val is always there to reassure her.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 2.16.19  
> i did my best with my middling spanish. this is my thanks to all the people who upload and translate juliantina videos for the rest of us <3  
> ~enjoy

She really doesn’t mean to be so wary.

She doesn’t mean to be so moody either, but sometimes she can’t help it.

Juliana runs her fingers over the page in her sketchbook, illuminated in a soft halo of light from the desk lamp. A mug of cold coffee sits forgotten beside her next to a crumpled up napkin and a half eaten pastry. Her hair is falling out of its braid, the sleeves of her sweatshirt are pushed up to her elbows, and if she presses under her eyes she can feel the bruising there. It’s nearly midnight, and she’s still awake in the dark, hunched over in her desk chair. Alone.

 _Come to bed,_ Val had said hours ago. _Please, baby. I miss you._

“Fuck,” Juliana murmurs, swiping her thumb along the lines of her dress, sketched and erased too many times to count.

She smudges a bit of graphite and feels like crying. Her tired eyes burn and blur. The glittering lights of Mexico City wink at her through the panoramic windows of their 10th story loft, and it seems like too much all of a sudden to be given this sort view at so little cost. Money was never easy in her family and the debtors were never kind. Juliana doesn’t know how to be comfortable with excess. She feels she hasn’t earned the luxury. She feels like she must earn it now.

Her eyes return to the page, angry and smarting. Her fingers fist around her pencil, squeezing until it snaps in two, and she hurls the pieces at the window in a flash of rage. They crack sharply against the glass and drop uselessly to the floor. The silence of the night returns, as if never disturbed, filling her head with a heavy din. A distant car horn blares from the street below, mournful and solitary, and she bites into her bottom lip to steady herself. It’s no use losing her temper over something like this. The work won’t get done any faster.

She closes her eyes and blocks it all out, the light and the dark and the measurements she can’t get right. Her head swirls with fatigue and her muscles give way. She feels cool paper against her temple, smooth and flat and uncomfortable.

 _Levántate,_ she tells herself sternly, but it’s no use.

She drifts away along a moonless river of black, no direction or purpose, no awareness of time or space. The world of worries disappears.

“Juls.”

A warm pressure settles on her spine. Soft words rouse her from the haze of sleep.

“Juls, mi amor. Come to bed.”

Juliana shifts and exhales sharply. Fingers card through her hair, gently unraveling the remains of her disintegrating braid. Her scalp is sore, she realizes, as the strands are combed another way, and she groans.

“Come on,” Valentina says, and wraps an arm around Juliana’s ribs, lifting slowly. “Up we go.”

Juliana finds her balance on shaky, leaden legs. She falls against Valentina, who steadies her with care, cradling Juliana’s body against her own. Val has always been willowy and lean, but she’s strong. She walks them both back through the living room and down the short hallway to the bedroom, where the shades have been drawn, and only a faint yellow glow permeates from the city skyline. Juliana wavers on her feet. Her eyelids are half open. Her head is still swimming, too heavy to lift fully. She feels drunk. She feels like she could pass out on the floor.

“Here,” Valetina says. “Lift your arms.”

Juliana obeys and feels her sweatshirt pulled over her head, her shirt stripped from her body. Deft fingers unbutton her jeans and tug them down. Her bra comes next, cast aside carelessly. Only her socks and underwear remain as Valentina pushes her toward the bed, holding the covers aside as she clambers underneath them. Her head hits the pillow and the room spins. She’s sinking again, pulled down by a gravity she can’t resist.

The bed dips beside her. The sheets rustles as a warm body slides in next to hers, soft and bare, curling up around her. Juliana tips her forehead against Val’s. Her eyes close and she breathes in the scent of her lover, heady and musky and sweet. Silky hair tickles her chest and shoulder. Her right arm  is pinned under a pleasant weight, her left tangled with Valentina’s seeking fingers. Juliana feels foolish for resisting this, for avoiding this. She doesn’t mean to be so wary. She doesn’t mean to get so scared or think of contingency plans. She doesn’t mean to check for exits when they enter cafes or flinch at loud noises. She doesn’t mean for any of it.

“You’ve been working too hard,” Valentina murmurs, nudging at Juliana’s nose with her own. “I miss you at night.”

Juliana’s heart lurches and she exhales. “I just have so much to do.”

“You don’t enjoy it anymore,” Val replies, and cuts Juliana off before she can disagree. “I watch your face while you work, okay? I read your expressions. I know what they mean.”

“A ver, it’s only for a little bit longer, and then-“

“Te _extraño_ ,” Val insists, nudging closer. “I toss and turn when you’re not here.”

A seed of guilt takes root in Juliana’s mind, spreading its tendrils down into deep, dark places. She squeezes her eyes shut to fight the panic, to focus on the clarity she finds in Valentina’s touch. Her patience. Her love.

“I’m sorry I’m so difficult,” Juliana croaks.

“Shhh, tranquila.” Valentina’s lips pucker against her cheekbone, just below her eye. “You’re not difficult.”

“But I _am_ difficult,” Juliana insists, ever stubborn, and wipes at her eyes.

Val places a hand on her chin and turns her head, drawing their lips together in a slow kiss. Her blue eyes are dark beads when they pull apart again. They rove over Juliana’s face, serious and soft.

“Well, I don’t care,” Valentina whispers. “Te amo mucho. You are the most important person in my life, and I know what I signed up for.”

Juliana manages a smile, hesitant though it is. Valentina returns it with warmth and with bravery, and Juliana wants so desperately to open herself up in that way, to have trust in her lover, to have trust in a future which until relatively recently still seemed interminably bleak.

“Sometimes I get so scared,” Juliana says, very quietly.

Val shifts beside her. “Yo también.”

“I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t.”

“How can you say that without knowing the future?”

“You _won’t,_ ” Val says stubbornly, and pulls Juliana flush against her, tucking Juliana’s head under her chin. “You’d have to kill me first.”

Juliana thinks nervously of guns and cruel men. “Let’s not joke about that.”

“Who’s joking?” Valentina wraps her arms tight around Juliana and squeezes. “En serio, Juls, I’m not leaving you again. Good luck keeping me away, because you’re stuck with me forever.”

Juliana surprises herself with a laugh, cheek smeared against Val’s hair and skin, nose filled with Val’s scent. They fit together too well for it to be coincidence, she thinks. Like corresponding shapes. She’s not sure where her body ends and Valentina’s begins. It makes her heart hurt to think about it. It’s too much to hold in.

“I love you,” Juliana sighs.

“I love you, too. Promise me you’ll stop staying up all night.”

“Te lo prometo.”

Val kisses the top of her head. “You need to stop pushing yourself so hard. You’re burned out. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

“I just want to do well,” Juliana insists, but Valentina is not moved.

“You’re in the top of your class.”

“Yes, but-“

“No buts. Well, none except this one.” Valentina squeezes Juliana’s ass for emphasis, and Juliana gasps, then giggles.

“Well articulated, señorita periodista.”

Valentina laughs and shifts to kiss Juliana again, and it carries them away from their conversation. Juliana is tired, but she doesn’t want to sleep just yet, and Valentina seems similarly disinclined to stop. Their mouths move lazily, tongues testing, twisting, tasting. Juliana has never gotten used to the feeling of Val’s bare chest pressed against her own, the way their nipples brush together, so sensitive and startling. She moans as Val’s teeth sink into her bottom lip and undulates with the electric bolt that shoots to her core.

“I’ve been thinking about your body all day,” Valentina murmurs, ardent and breathless, stroking down Juliana’s back. “It’s like a record on loop. No puedo parar.”

Juliana’s skin erupts into goosebumps and she shivers. Her answer escapes as an inarticulate whine, curling up from the back of her throat. The sheets rustle as Valentina adjusts their position, dragging Juliana’s weight fully on top of her, shifting a slender leg between her thighs. She bends her knee, pressing up, and Juliana flushes hot and cold. Beads of sweat break out along her hairline. She feels the hint of pressure against her core, throbbing lightly, and grinds down. She can’t hold back. She can’t deny Valentina anything. Pleasure rolls through her like waves on the surface of a pond.

“You’re so beautiful,” Valentina whispers.

Her hands slip down to Juliana’s thighs and squeeze, pressing them harder together. Juliana’s gentle waves of pleasure become shuddering jolts. She opens her mouth against Val’s collarbone and tastes her skin, salty, sweet. Valentina moans quietly.

Suddenly, they’re rolling. Val flips Juliana onto her back, strips off her underwear like it’s dental floss, and makes to slide down, mouth open in anticipation, but Juliana catches her arms and holds her fast.

“No,” she shakes her head earnestly. “I need you up here with me.”

Val’s eyes widen with surprise. “Okay,” she says.

She tips their foreheads together and shimmies a hand down between them. Their eyes lock in the dark. Juliana counts the seconds. She squirms as Valentina tugs at the neat patch of hair at the apex of her thighs.

“Sometimes I wish we could just get married now,” Val admits, lashes fluttering.

Juliana’s breath catches. “We talked about it. It’s too soon.”

“I don’t care,” Valentina says, and sinks her fingers into Juliana’s folds slowly. “I want you forever.”

Juliana’s body bends into the touch. The air leaves her lungs in a sharp gasp. She feels Val everywhere, from head to toe, and her skin tingles. Her ears buzz. Her face presses into the crook of Val’s neck and she moves her hips.

“God,” Juliana moans.

Valentina tangles a hand in Juliana’s hair. “Take tomorrow off. Stay in bed with me.”

“I can’t.” Juliana moans as Valentina begins to stroke over her clit, struggling to assemble her words. “Tengo que- … Tengo que estudiar por un examen el lunes.”

Valentina swirls her fingertips at Juliana’s entrance. “The exam can wait. You’ve been studying all week already. Spend the day with me.”

Juliana shivers and cries out into Valentina’s shoulder.

“Do you want me inside you?”

“ _Sí_. Por favor.”

“I want to be inside you, too,” Val whispers, lingering against her ear, “but I need you to promise that you’ll stay with me tomorrow.”

“Okay, okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay. Sí, te lo prometo.”

Val sighs contentedly and inserts her finger slowly. Juliana is so wet she could go faster, could go harder, could press in with more fingers and more urgency, but by now Valentina seems to know Juliana’s body better than Juliana herself, and she anticipates what is needed. She goes slowly. She tests Juliana’s walls and curls in when she feels the tremors. Juliana’s entire body is feverish and hot. Their chests have grown slick, and she gasps as their breasts slide against each other. She doesn’t understand how it can keep getting better. She doesn’t understand how Valentina can still be so insatiable after all this time, but she tries not to worry about what will happen when the honeymoon period ends. Val presses a fingertip in deep, drawing tight circles, and Juliana’s legs shake.

“You feel so good,” Valentina groans. Her lips catch Juliana’s jaw. “You feel so fucking beautiful.”

Juliana can only pant. The trembling means she’s close. It won’t take much and Valentina knows it. She’ll draw it out as much as she can. Valentina extracts her finger, cooing sympathetically at Juliana’s whimpered protestations, and thrusts in with two. She scissors them slowly, back and forth, stretching Juliana’s walls. The pleasure and tension are becoming unbearable. Juliana begins to shake all over. Her body chases the pressure, writhing and squirming. Val’s hand leaves her hair and snakes under Juliana's back, bracing her weight, pulling Juliana still closer as she thrusts steadily in and out.

“Te amo, mi amor. Te amo,” Val chants, as she drives Juliana to the edge. “Te amo, te amo, te amo.”

Juliana feels her muscles start to clench and she tenses. Her head tilts up and her mouth falls open. Val leans down to kiss her jaw, her cheek, her neck, anything she can reach. They are breathing hard together. Seeking a rhythm together. Val thrusts one more time, throwing the power of her hips behind it, and Juliana sings out as the earthquake finally hits her. She falls limp against the mattress, wracked with aftershocks and ecstasy.

Val collapses on top of her. It’s a minute at least before either of them can catch their breath.

“Estás bien?” Val rasps, swallowing thickly.

“Yeah,” Juliana murmurs. “Just…really tired.”

“Good.” Valentina leans up and kisses her chin. “You’ve been exhausted for days. Now you’ll sleep like a baby.”

“Do you want me to-?” Juliana starts, but Valentina shakes her head.

“No,” she says. “Mañana. Right now I want you to sleep. I need you to be well rested for our day in bed tomorrow.”

Juliana snorts softly and runs her fingers through Val's long hair. “You’re starting to scare me.”

“Wait until you see what I picked up in town,” Valentina replies, dropping her voice to a conspiratorial murmur, and they giggle together.

“I can’t wait to use it on you,” Juliana teases, and hears the telltale hitch in Val’s breath.

“Go to sleep!” Val squawks. “And stop saying things that will keep me up all night!”

“Maybe I enjoy the thought of you pining for me until dawn.”

“Ugh, sleep, Juls! Sleep now, sex later.”

“Lots and lots of sex,” Juliana adds, amused, and kisses Val’s cheek.

Val only laughs and rolls them over. She adores being the big spoon, and Juliana adores being held. Juliana sighs as long, lanky arms enfold her, pulling her tight against the body of her lover. Valentina can seem so fragile sometimes, slender and delicate as she is, but like this she feels as sturdy as a rock.

“Go to sleep,” Val whispers, kissing the back of Juliana’s neck.

Juliana only hums. The glow is wearing off and her eyelids are beginning to droop. She feels the familiar pull of the black river and longs to let the current carry her.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

Val only hums her response as her breathing begins to even out.

Juliana closes her eyes at last and lets herself drift away.

-

-

-


	2. Chapter 2

Valentina really doesn’t mean to be so impulsive.

She doesn’t mean to rush into things, and she doesn’t mean to keep tripping over her own two feet, but Juliana’s eyes are so, so dark and sometimes when she looks into them it feels like falling.

Val has been falling for a very long time already.

The sun is setting outside their bedroom window when Valentina extracts herself from Juliana’s arms and slips into an oversized shirt, foregoing the inconvenience of underwear or pants so she can enjoy the secret delight of Juliana’s eyes on her as she pads to over to the walk-in closet. She finds the little shopping bag where she left it, stashed away in the corner behind a tall pair of boots. Returning to the room with a giddy smile, Valentina flops down on the bed.

Juliana smirks and runs her tongue along the inside of her cheek. “What’ve you got there, amorcito?”

“Una sorpresa,” Val replies, and grins.

“And what did you tell Alirio when he took you to get this surprise?”

“I snuck out and took a taxi,” Valentina says, and they giggle together as she digs into the bag. “I had to wear big sunglasses and a hat in the shop though. I think the sales lady thought I was crazy.”

“Bueno, es cierto,” Juliana teases.

“Oh, you’re one to talk.” Valentina rolls her eyes affectionately. “Let’s see what you think of this surprise that I worked so hard to get for us, huh?”

She removes the new toy from its sleek, black box and holds it up for inspection in the golden, evening light. She nearly snorts with amusement when she sees it again, a nondescript dildo made of pink, glittery silicone balanced flat on her palm. It was the silliest, most non threatening color she could find at the shop, and yet, when she looks up finally to gauge her girlfriend’s reaction, Juliana’s face is pale and her expression is blank.

“Estás bien?” Valentina asks, wilting with the pang of panic that slices through her.

Her words tremble the tiniest bit. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s miscalculated and unintentionally dredged up some old insecurity or war wound. Juliana has more skeletons in her closet than the average girl, and Valentina, who has always been one to burn with everything she feels, forgets sometimes the way Juliana locks things away.

“You’re not talking,” Val says after several agonizing seconds. “Juls? You’re not talking, are you okay?”

“Um.” Juliana blinks and licks her lips. “You… You want me to use that…on you?”

Valentina’s mouth opens while she tries to think of the right response. A beat falls between them, during which her stomach performs an entire olympic routine of backflips. At last, she comes to her senses, tossing the toy back in its box and stashing it away in the bag out of sight. Her focus returns to Juliana, whose dark brows are knit together, bottom lip sucked between her teeth. Valentina’s hands fly to her face without thought.

“We don’t have to,” she says. “It was just a crazy whim. I thought-“ Valentina stops and shakes her head. “No. No es importante lo que pensé. Perdón.”

Juliana’s reply is slow in coming. “…If that’s what you want, then…”

“No! No, no, no me importa, en serio!” Valentina clasps Juliana’s jaw and strokes a thumb along her cheek. “I’m so sorry I made you uncomfortable. I pushed too much. I should have talked to you first.”

Juliana swallows thickly and nods, averting her eyes.

“Oye,” Val says, straightening up. “Forget this ever happened, okay? I’ll take it back.”

“Okay,” Juliana murmurs.

“Should we order some dinner instead? Watch a movie in bed, maybe?”

Juliana musters a shy, twisted smile and a bit of the spark returns to her eyes. It makes Val’s insides knot until she’s breathless all over again, just like the first time, just like every time. It never gets old. She hopes she never gets used to it.

She reaches out and takes Juliana’s hand, lacing their fingers together as tight as she can.

“Are you going to ask for pizza again?” Juliana says, brushing a lock of hair over Valentina’s ear. “Because we always get pizza.”

“Would you like something else?”

“I’m craving tacos, I think,” Juliana muses, “but we’d have to go get them.”

“Oh, no. Clothes?” Val whines. “Don’t make me put on clothes, Juliana, por favor!”

Juliana laughs. “I can go get them if you’d rather stay here.”

“No, no, I want to go with you,” Valentina releases her hand and hops up from the bed, “but I’m only wearing my ratty jeans and you can forget about a bra.”

Juliana quirks a brow. “Mmm, how tempting.”

“Juls!”

Juliana laughs and throws off the covers. Valentina’s heart skips a little as she rises naked from the bed, awash in the fiery colors of sunset. She stretches languidly, lifting her arms over her head, twisting this way and that. A vertebrae in her spine pops and she sighs in satisfaction. She turns, oblivious to Valentina’s glassy stare, and heads into the closet for some clothes.

“Can I borrow your red shirt?” she calls.

Valentina’s heart is beating in her ears as she responds with a simple, “sí, claro!” and scurries into the bathroom where she can clean herself up with some dignity behind the privacy of a door.

Later, as they stroll down to the taco truck in the park with Val’s security detail in tow, they hold hands and bump shoulders, and Juliana smiles when Valentina talks. Everything seems more or less back to normal after the snafu in the bedroom. Valentina is eager to put it all behind her. It certainly wasn’t one of her finer moments, although she’s never been particularly suave or cool where Juliana’s concerned.

They spend the rest of the evening eating junk food and watching movies, and Valentina tries to convince herself that everything is fine. If, in the days that follow, Juliana is maybe a little more distant or preoccupied than usual, it’s not too worrisome. They’re both university students with busy schedules. Juliana especially. Valentina decides to chalk it up to the slough of exams she been worrying about all week.

It isn’t until Wednesday afternoon, nearly four days later, that Valentina is finally forced to admit to herself that Juliana’s behavior has been off, and it happens, of all times, while they’re in the living room having sex on the couch. Juliana had been drawing at her desk in the corner, while Val laid on the couch watching TV, but it didn’t take much to coax Juliana away from her work during a commercial break. A well phrased innuendo and the crook of a finger was all that was needed.

Ten minutes later, Juliana is face down between Val’s legs, working her up to a magnificent orgasm, when, in the heat of the moment, Valentina gasps, “baby, por favor, I need you inside me.”

Juliana lifts her head and smirks, and it does things to Valentina that she really can’t explain. Her toes curl. Her hair stands on end. An insistent throbbing starts up in the tips of her fingers and she whimpers through pursed lips.

“Like this?” Juls asks deviously, slipping two fingers into her body with ease.

Valentina is so wet she’s surprised there’s a drought on. Her back arches and her hips roll. It feels too amazing to contain and her pleasure escapes as a high moan. Juliana decides to punctuate this with a messy kiss to her clit. That, combined with the curl of her fingers, has Valentina spinning.

“Good?” Juliana asks, slinky and feline.

“Yes,” Valentina groans. “So good. So, so good, baby.”

Juliana pushes in up to the last knuckle then retracts her fingers slowly, savoring the hungry clench of Valentina’s muscles. As she reenters, she begins to thrust steadily. Her mouth is parted, lips wet as she leans in to lick between Val’s legs again. Her eyes are as dark as the bottom of a well, and her lashes are long and soft. When she peers up through them the effect on Valentina is devastating.

“Are you close?” Juliana asks.

“Sí,” Val hisses, hips pumping, hands fisted in her own hair.

She’s so close she could cry, but the edge is elusive. Her body aches for more. More of Juliana. As much as humanly possible.

“What do you need?” Juliana asks, sensing her distress.

“More,” Val begs raggedly. “I need more, I need- Juls, add your other fingers.”

At this, Juliana freezes. Valentina’s body comes to a lurching stop and she cries out with barely suppressed frustration. She reaches down, grasping for Juliana’s arm or face, anything she can reach, but Juliana ducks away and sits up. Her frown is deep and troubled.

It takes Valentina many long seconds to turn her brain back on. When at last she can speak somewhat normally, she brushes the mussed hair from her cheeks, props herself on her elbows, and blinks with glazed eyes at Juliana.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, breathing hard. Her body still hums with unreleased tension.

Juliana gives her a long, searching look. “Nothing.”

“I can tell it’s not nothing,” Val says. “You look upset. Did I say something wrong?”

Juliana’s frown deepens. “No… you’ve just never…” she gestures with a sticky hand as she struggles to articulate herself, and the absurdity of it would make Valentina laugh under normal circumstances. “It’s just, you’ve never asked me to do that before,” Juls finishes, and glances away sullenly.

Valentina struggles to keep up. “To do what?”

Juliana huffs. “To add more fingers.”

“Oh.”

Valentina chews at the inside of her cheek for a second. This is another one of Juliana’s emotional minefields and Val is ill equipped in this moment to navigate it.

“I’m…sorry?” she tries.

Juliana’s expression grows positively unreadable. “Am I not enough for you?”

“Qué?” Val’s eyes widen and she sits up fully. “Qué crees, of course you are!”

Juls swings her legs over the side of the couch. Valentina watches her face closely for any sign that this is about to blow wide open, but all she can read is the familiar doubt and self-loathing. The twin shadows that seem to follow Juliana everywhere she goes.

“Hey, Juls. Mírame.” Valentina scoots across the couch, ignoring the way her bare bottom chafes against the leather. “Talk to me, por favor.”

“No es nada,” Juliana says stubbornly, but Val persists.

“Is this about the toy?” she asks, settling a hand on her girlfriend’s tensed shoulder, “because that wasn’t like, a hint that don’t satisfy me or something.”

Juliana’s expression pinches and Valentina’s heart sinks. _Bingo_.

“Oh, mi amor,” she coos. “I’m so sorry. That wasn’t it at all, te lo juro.”

“Estás seguro?” Juliana asks, her tone startlingly brittle.

“Sí. Absolutamente.”

“Really though?” Juliana turns and fixes her with haunted eyes. “Are you sure you aren’t maybe missing a certain piece of the male anatomy?”

Valentina gapes at her, dumbfounded. “Qué?”

“Do you miss guys, Val?” Juliana clarifies, bursting with frustration. “Do I have to spell it out for you? You need to tell me right now if that’s what this is about because I can’t- I can’t-” Juliana falters mid sentence and bites her lip to hold back the tears.

“What? Juls, no!” Valentina scrambles forward and envelopes Juliana in a clinging hug. “I don’t miss guys at all! Why would you think that? I love you! I’m so in love with you! I think about you all the time, and I think about how good you are at sex, and how I can’t wait to have sex with you more, and- Ugh! I’m so stupid! Forget about the stupid toy, okay?”

At this outburst, Juls seems somewhat relieved, somewhat reassured. The haze of anger and fear clears from her eyes and her expression relaxes into a neutral frown. Valentina can feel her own heart rate coming down as she releases her hold and presses a parting kiss against Juliana’s temple.

“Tranquila,” she murmurs. “Te amo muchisimo.”

Juliana releases a long, shaky sigh. “Don’t you ever worry that what we’re doing is unnatural, or… I don’t know, wrong?”

Valentina thinks back on Eva and Lupe’s early resistance to the relationship, their venomous words, their indignant calls upon God and Nature, as if either of those forces were enough to explain all the confounding perplexities and paradoxes of the world. She thinks of Lucho and his violence. She thinks of Sergio and his manipulations. She thinks of all the people who endeavored to tear them apart, and who, in the end, nearly succeeded.

“No,” Val declares at last, passionate as ever. “I know some people disagree, but I think they just don’t understand us. Nothing has ever felt this normal to me.”

Juliana bites her lip. “I do worry sometimes. I’m sorry. I just can’t help but worry that maybe one day you’ll realize you need more and that…I can’t give it to you.”

Val straightens up and puts on her fiercest glare. “Juliana, listen to me. You give me everything I’ve ever wanted and more, and if you’re talking about kids, well… I have a lot of money. We’ll figure it out. But I absolutely do _not_ miss guys, okay? I’m certainly not leaving all of _this_ hotness for some stupid boy.”

Juls chokes out a laugh. “This _hotness_?”

“You heard me.” Val grins. “You’re a total catch.”

Juliana smiles, this time for real, and Valentina’s mushy heart melts even further. The things she would do for this girl are unmentionable.

She reaches out to card her fingers through Juliana’s silky black hair, tucking it behind her ear, taking a moment to study the striking cut of her jaw, the curve of her cheek, the deep brown of her eyes. Juliana’s lips quirk as Val brushes her fingers across them, and it makes Valentina’s mouth run dry.

“Why did you get that dildo anyway?” Juls asks curiously after a minute. “I mean, if you don’t miss dicks and all.”

Valentina rolls her eyes. “Dicks are whatever. Seriously. But _you_ , taking me from behind with two hands free to… mmm…” Valentina shivers and trails off. “Sometimes I just want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk the next day.”

Juliana blushes a beautiful, rosy pink, and Valentina laughs with delight.

“Por dios,” Juls mutters.

“It’s not such a bad image, no?” Valentina slides in close and kisses the hinge of her jaw. “What do you think about me getting down on my hands and knees for you?”

Juliana shivers. “Val…”

“Only for you, baby. Solo siempre para ti.”

Juliana closes her eyes and sucks in a deep, trembling breath. When she exhales, a look of familiar determination has replaced her hesitation and Valentina’s insides clench all at once. The dull throb that had settled to a distant pulse in her abdomen roars back to life at full intensity. She can see her desire reflected in Juliana’s eyes.

“Did you return it already?” Juls asks lowly.

Valentina shakes her head. “Ya no.”

“Maybe we should keep it. Give it try sometime.” Juliana swallows nervously. “Just to see, you know?”

“Just to see,” Val agrees absently, gaze fixed on Juliana’s mouth.

“Although…I wouldn’t know what to do…” Juls admits slowly, gaze mirroring Valentina’s.

“You don’t need to. I’ll show you how to put it on, and then you just lie back and let me do all the work.”

Juliana’s expression scrunches up in distaste. “I hate all the little reminders of why you have this kind of experience.”

“Mmm…” Val nudges at Juliana’s nose with her own. “I love it when you get jealous.”

Juls licks her lips. “I’m always jealous.”

“So, take what’s yours,” Valentina whispers, and Juliana surges forward to capture her mouth.

The kiss is hard and possessive. They moan together, fumbling with hungry fingers that tug and grasp, snaring hair and clothing, digging eager bruises into soft skin. Juliana is quiet and focused in her task, dark in her desires, but for Val it’s an explosion, a thunderous pounding of her pulse, a searing spike of emotions that sucks the air from her chest in a firestorm of desire. She lavishes her desperation on Juliana’s lips. She pushes in deep with her tongue and flicks along the roof of Juliana’s mouth, drawing a whimper from the back of her throat. It’s messy, and wet, and filled with teeth, but it feels amazing to be a little rough. A little out of control.

Juls’ hands grasp the backs of her thighs, pulling until Valentina straddles her lap, and like this there’s the delicious height difference, the leverage Val can use to bear down with each kiss. She rolls her body with every swipe of her tongue, rocking her hips into Juliana’s stomach, striking up the rhythm she craves as Juliana palms at her breasts through her t-shirt.

“Juls,” Val groans, moving to her girlfriend’s neck. “Juls, I need you.”

She licks a path up to Juliana’s ear and bites into the lobe, clicking the silver stud against her teeth. Juliana groans and lets her head fall back against the couch, lets Val’s hands make a tangled mess of her hair. She opens dark, dark eyes, darker than pitch, and peers up at Valentina with a primordial hunger.

“You want me to fuck you?” she husks, finishing on a growl that has Valentina’s hair standing on end.

“Yes, baby,” Val whines, squirming impatiently.

Juliana’s teeth flash. “You want me to take what’s mine?”

“Sí, mi amor, _por favor_.”

Two hands cup Valentina’s ass and pull her flush against Juliana’s body. Juls flexes her fingers, digging into the muscle, palming Valentina possessively as she pulls her legs further apart, splaying her wide. Goosebumps race up Valentina’s spine and she moans, bending to press her face into the crook of Juliana’s neck. Juliana thrusts her hips up against Valentina, grinding into Val’s core, and it’s an exquisite torture to feel rough denim against her wet, throbbing folds.

“I kind of wish I was wearing that toy right now,” Juls admits, and Valentina nearly comes out of her skin.

“I can go get it?” she suggests quickly, breathing hard.

“Va,” Juliana says, after just a moment’s hesitation, and Val trips over herself in her haste to climb off Juliana’s lap.

“Take off your pants,” she says in a rush, turning to run to the bedroom. “I’ll be right back!”

She bursts into the walk-in closet and tears into the drawer where she’d hidden the toy away, hoping privately that Juliana might one day reconsider. She pulls out the box and the thin leather harness and sprints back into the living room where Juliana is just shimmying out of the last of her jeans.

“I have no idea how to put this on,” Val admits hastily, unfolding the harness on approach, “but I read the instructions and we’re just going to figure it out on the fly, okay?”

Juliana nods quickly. “Okay.”

They fumble with the straps together. It takes two aborted tries before Juliana realizes that all she apparently has to do is step through the two loops for her legs and tighten the straps. Next comes the dildo itself, which slides through a ring in the front, and which still, like every time before, nearly sends Valentina into a fit of giggles.

“It’s so cute,” she says, grinning, tapping the tip with her finger.

Juliana oscillates her hips back and forth, watching the silicone swing with each motion. Her lips are quirked and her eyes sparkle with amusement.

“Que ridículo,” Juliana mutters. “Siento muy raro.”

Val laughs, but her body is impatient, and she reaches down to grasp the toy in her hand, squeezing to test its firmness. Juliana watches her with rapt attention. A curtain of dark hair falls across her face and her throat bobs.

“Nervous?” Val asks softly.

“A little,” Juliana admits.

Valentina releases the toy and puts a hand against Juliana’s chest, pushing her gently back onto the couch. “Sit. Relájate. Let me do all the work.”

“Okay,” Juliana murmurs.

Her eyes fall between them as Valentina climbs onto her lap, studying the way the toy bends against Val’s abdomen. They’re each still half dressed, Valentina in her t-shirt and fuzzy socks, Juliana in a tank top. Valentina considers, briefly, just stripping them both and getting it over with, but decides instead that she likes the haphazard nature of this encounter, each of them too impatient and desperate to bother getting naked. It’s unexpectedly sexy.

“I’m going to start, okay?” she says, leaning in to kiss Juliana’s lips.

“Okay,” Juliana says.

“Scoot forward a little bit,” Val instructs. “Lean back a little more.”

Juliana’s hands find her hips as she readjusts. The head of the toy brushes between Valentina’s legs and she shudders, mouth falling open slightly. Her heart rate begins to ramp back up. Her shirt clings to the sweat on her back.

“Like this?” Juls asks uncertainty.

“Perfecto.”

Valentina leans in again and kisses her, distracting her, calming her as she reaches down and grasps the toy in her hand, directing it to her entrance.

“Fuck,” she gasps, breaking the kiss.

The stretch is familiar, but new. Her temperature spikes. A rush of wetness lubricates the cool head of the toy as it enters her slowly. The pressure is intense, and a little overwhelming. Her heart pounds in her ears even as a strange sense of calm washes over her. She rubs at her clit with her fingers to work herself up a little more.

Juliana’s hooded gaze trails down Valentina’s body to watch, captivated. Her fingers dig into Val’s hips. Her chest rises and falls as her breathing turns heavy.

“Good?” she asks.

“Mhm.” Val bites her lip and nods, lashes fluttering.

She sinks down slowly, until her inner thighs are nearly flush with Juliana’s hips and the length of the toy is deep inside her.

“Should I move, or… Should I-?“

“No, no, es perfecto.” Valentina tips their foreheads together, eyes closed, breathing steadily through her acclimation.

Juls waits with baited breath. When at last Valentina gives a slight pump of her hips, testing the waters, Juliana releases a tiny noise, a tiny catch in her throat.

“Oh,” Val whispers, feeling the friction. “Oh…”

She pumps her hips again, lifting higher, sinking faster. Sparks scatter behind her eyes. Electric pleasure lances up her back and down her legs. She arches into Juliana and releases such a long, plaintive moan that she worries briefly about the neighbors. It feels so good, so amazing, so…

So right.

“It’s different with you,” she whispers, awed.

Juliana squints, palms growing sweaty on Valentina’s skin. “What do you mean?”

“It’s so good,” Val confesses, near tears. “Fuck, you feel so good. It’s never felt this good before.”

Goosebumps rise under Val’s touch, climbing up Juliana’s arms. Valentina rolls her body and starts up a slow rhythm, careful to keep the toy from slipping out. Juls watches her with dark, hooded eyes and parted lips, mesmerized, enraptured, hungry. Her hands leave the safety of Valentina’s hips and curl around her lower back, sliding up under her shirt, gliding along her spine until they reach her neck. Juliana curls her right hand around Valentina’s nape and drops the other to her ass. Her hips begin to thrust reflexively with Val’s, and the pleasure it sparks, the _friction_ it creates, leaves Val gasping. She fists her hands in Juliana’s hair and holds on for dear life.

“Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!” she moans. “Keep doing that! Please keep doing that!”

Juliana clenches her jaw and thrusts up harder. Valentina cries out again, and their bodies bump together as a rhythm begins to form. Juliana’s nails carve hot trails down Valentina’s back. Her lips burn Valentina’s mouth, her teeth brand Valentina’s neck. They move together harder and faster, arms clinging, bodies rocking. The leather creaks as Val’s sweaty knees stick and catch against it. Juliana bites her chest through her shirt and Valentina tips her head back in amazement, groaning up to the heavens. Strong hands kneed her chest. A hot, wet mouth sucks her nipple through the fabric, through the thin lace of her bra. She bucks forward, changing the angle, feels the toy brush a sensitive spot deep inside her. Lighting crackles through her. She cries out plaintively. Desperately.

Juliana catches on quick. Her hips lift off the couch, pursuing more leverage, and soon Valentina is riding each thrust with trembling legs. Their skin slaps together. Their moans blend into a single, tortured note. Valentina is ravenous, is starving. She wants more. She wants it all. She wants Juliana to split her wide open. Every part of her body throbs with her approaching release. She’s hurtling rapidly toward it, is picking up speed, is rolling downhill. Suddenly, it’s terrifying, the sheer size of it, like a massive wave towering over her. Her breath grows ragged and uneven. Her muscles begin to spasm and squeeze around the toy. Her hands grapple wildly for anything they can reach, and Juliana clings to her, kisses her.

The cliff arrives.

Val’s world explodes.

She goes stiff, back arched, mouth open in a silent scream, as colors burst behind her eyes. She’s flying, soaring, careening through space, and it’s such a rush. It’s so much. She can’t take it. Tears fill in her eyes.

“Hey, hey. Tranquila.” Juliana murmurs in her ear. “I’ve got you.”

Valentina releases a strangled noise and collapses against her. The sudden change of angle causes the toy to slip free and she jolts, groaning quietly as her muscles continue to clench. Even as her breathing slows she continues to float, everything softened, muted, and muffled.

Juliana holds her in a loose embrace, chest rising and falling sharply. Long minutes pass in silence as they recover, until, at length, Juls shifts to lie back on the cushions, pulling Val down on top of her.

“Well,” she says, running slow fingers through Val’s hair, “that was...intense.”

Valentina huffs a laugh. Her eyelids are heavy so she keeps them closed, head tucked under Juliana’s chin, face pressed against her chest. Their damp skin sticks together as it cools. She doesn’t even mind the discomfort.

“I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did,” she says.

“I didn’t hate it,” Juls replies, shrugging, but Val can hear the note of teasing in her voice.

She props herself up on one arm and peers down with sparkling eyes at her tired lover. “Want me to do you?”

Juliana musters a soft, adoring smile. “Maybe next time?”

“Okay, raincheck.” Valentina grins. She leans down to kiss Juliana softly. “I can’t wait.”

“You never can.”

Valentina scoffs. “Well, maybe if you weren’t so hot I would be this impatient.”

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?” Juliana pulls Val back down against her chest. “Typical, typical.”

Valentina snuggles up close and sighs. “Te amo,” she whispers, and kisses Juliana’s skin. “That was...amazing. I’m going to be nice and sore tomorrow.”

Juliana hums. “I’m glad.”

“Thank you,” Valentina says, and lets her heavy eyes close again. “I know you were uncomfortable at first.”

“I was just worrying about stupid stuff,” Juliana says, and sighs contentedly. “I should be the one thanking you. You’re always so patient with me.”

“You can thank me by ordering a pizza for dinner,” Val murmurs.

Juliana’s chest rumbles as she laughs, and Valentina fills with such an overwhelming, immeasurable love for her that she nearly cries again.

“You always want pizza,” Juliana mumbles fondly.

Valentina can only smile. She doesn’t even have the heart to argue.

-

-

-


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5.20.19  
> so, yeah idk guys. the muse strikes when she strikes. have some sin, y'all sinners ;)  
> ~enjoy

3.

Juliana doesn’t mean to be so tense all the time. 

It’s a reflex. A deeply ingrained one. She’s tried all the conventional methods of relaxation, up to and including ASMR mediation videos on YouTube, but a lifetime of abuse cannot be undone overnight, and her muscles still lock up like rusty joints whenever she experiences a rush of adrenalin. 

It’s probably why, when Val gets down on her hands and knees, Juliana’s heart beats so hard she nearly passes out. 

“You’ve got to breathe, bebecita,” Valentina instructs, palm warm and flat against Juliana’s sternum. “Breathe, okay? Inhale with me, and exhale slowly.” 

Juliana just nods and does as she’s told. She’s too embarrassed to protest anyway. It’s not clear to her what’s worse, that Valentina is clearly trying to overcome her arousal in order to be a good nurse, or that Juliana is still wearing the strap, pink and erect like a floppy middle finger between her thighs, mocking her failure. 

“You’re not a failure,” Valentina says just then, and it’s oddly prescient. 

“Que?”

“I can see it in your eyes. Don’t go there, okay?” 

Juliana’s face burns with shame. “I’m a fucking head case.” 

“No,” Val says sternly, “tu eres guapa, y hermosa, y bonita, y linda, y-“ she stops to think. “You’re  _ amazing _ . Now breathe, baby, you’re hyperventilating.” 

Juliana breathes and tries not to think about anything else. She pulls her knees to her chest and feels the soft carpet tickle the bottom of her feet. The toy gets in the way, but she ignores it. She can ignore a lot of things if she tries. She’s a master at blocking things out, and even better at self denial, but there are too many cracks in the retaining wall right now and she can’t hold any of it back. Her heart continues to race in her chest. Her head continues to spin. 

“This is my fault,” Valentina says at length, hand resting absently on Juliana’s back, eyes unfocused. “I push too much.” 

Juliana lifts her head, turns it, places her cheek back down atop her knees. “Val, it’s fine.” 

“We’ve talked about this, and I’ve acknowledged that I do this, but it keeps happening.” She sighs heavily, and her expression turns penitent. “Lo siento.” 

“Val.”

She glances at Juliana. “Yes?” 

Juliana swallows and forces the barest of smiles. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just got a little overwhelmed.” 

“But, see, that’s the problem!” Val exclaims, growing distressed. “I shouldn’t be overwhelming you like this in the first place.” 

“No, that’s not- It’s not-…” Juliana stutters, and groans in frustration. She turns her face back into her knees in an attempt to hide her embarrassment. “I just got a little too…excited,” she murmurs. “You’re very sexy.” 

Valentina says nothing at all in response, doesn’t even make a sound, and after a torturously long stretch of silence, Juliana finally braves a peak at her girlfriend’s face. She expects…well, she’s not really sure what she expects, but what she  _ sees _ are wide eyes, a jaw slack, a mouth agape. 

“You panicked because I’m too sexy?” Valentina asks slowly, as though afraid this might be some sort of practical joke. 

Juliana nods, and Valentina’s eyes glaze over. 

“Wow,” she says. 

She sounds extremely impressed, though not with herself, only with Juliana. Juliana cannot for the life of her figure out why. 

“That’s hot,” Val says eventually, once she’s apparently processed the situation. She giggles and bumps Juliana with her shoulder. “That’s really hot and really cute, Juls.” 

“Are you kidding? It’s mortifying.” 

“No, Juls, neta? Es la puta madre. De verdad.” 

“I don’t understand you sometimes.” 

“You had a panic attack because you think I’m really hot.” Valentina laughs suddenly, clear and delighted, bright like a bell. “How is that not the greatest compliment in the world?” 

“Por dios,” Juliana mutters, blushing scarlet. 

“Do you wanna try again? Since I’m so sexy?” Valentina waggles her eyebrows, and finally Juls can read between the lines, can hear the obfuscated note of impatience Val has tried so hard to hide. 

It’s not a choice really. It’s not even a consideration. Juliana wants to give back, and it’s not like it’s such a chore, pulling her girlfriend’s long, beautiful hair, clutching onto her girlfriend’s trembling hips. Juliana closes her eyes to steady herself, feels her tongue inadvertently slide across her lips.  

“Juls?”

“S í ,” she says quickly, biting back a tremor. “Quiero probarlo otra vez.” 

Valentina squeals and Juliana jumps in surprise. “Te quiero mucho! Gracias, beb é !” 

She hops into Juliana’s lap with the enthusiasm of a puppy and begins to kiss her, pressing soft lips all over her face, her neck, her ears. Juliana giggles and tries to push her away, but Valentina is relentless. 

“Para!” Juls laughs. “No, para, para!” 

“Nunca en la vida,” Valentina swears, and finishes with a breathtaking kiss on the mouth. 

Juliana feels the air go out of her lungs. 

“Fuck,” she gasps. 

“Oh, yes, please,” Val whines, rocking her hips forward. 

She grinds herself against the shaft of the heretofore forgotten toy strap around Juliana’s waist and whimpers in Juliana’s ear. All of Juliana’s hair stands on end, as though she’s stuck her finger in a socket. Her breath comes in fast little pants. A hot blush has made its way down her neck and settled rather permanently at the top of her chest. She clasps shaking hands on Valentina’s waist and rolls her hips, teasing and slow, drawing more desperate little sounds from her girlfriend’s mouth. 

“Get on the bed,” Juliana instructs, mouthing along Valentina’s jaw. 

Valentina dislodges herself in a rush, scrambling to get up and stagger onto the edge of mattress. Her legs appear to be as steady as Juliana’s nerves. 

“Somos lo mismo,” Juliana murmurs, awed, as Valentina spreads herself out on hands and knees, back arched, head low. 

“Qu é ?” Val replies, sounding nearly out breath. 

“We’re the same,” Juliana says, rising carefully. “We’re both nervous.” 

Val glances over her shoulder, opens to her mouth to reply, but Juliana glides a hand north along her spine and the words die on her tongue. Instead a groan works its way up from her lungs, filling the room, filling Juliana’s ears. Goosebumps prickle painfully along Juliana’s skin. She bends to press an open mouthed kiss to the small of Valentina’s back. Her reward is an excited shudder. Another moan. Val is still so sensitive, even after their impromptu intermission. She must have been quivering inside. 

“Don’t worry, mi amor,” Juliana whispers, reaching around to palm Val’s breasts, fitting her hips to Val’s ass, “I’ll take care of you.” 

She pinches at stiff nipples until the noises leaving Valentina’s mouth are positively inappropriate, then slides down to test Val’s readiness with light fingers. Valentina is so slick Juliana gasps. So hot, so swollen. She dips inside experimentally and gets lost for a second in the feel of it. She withdraws slowly, blinking in shock at the moisture that clings to her finger. 

“Val. Whoa.” 

“I know it was only a few days,” Val manages, working her hips against Juliana’s probing fingers, chasing pressure, “but I hate being away from you.” 

“You’re insatiable,” Juliana teases. 

Val doesn’t deny it. “Next time we’re going somewhere together.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere.” Val thrusts back against her. “Juliana,  _ please _ . I need you.” 

Juliana lets out a shuddering breath. “Okay, sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize, just-“

Juliana spread her legs, planting them firmly at shoulder width, then takes ahold of the toy in one hand and teases it at Val’s opening. Her other hand comes up to grip at Valentina’s hip, guiding her backward. A choked little sound leaves Valentina’s throat as Juliana eases herself inside. Slowly. It’s hard not to go faster. Valentina is so wet. Her muscles very nearly pull Juliana in of their own volition. 

“Good?” Juliana asks, swallowing down a tide of nerves. 

“Yes,” Val hisses. 

Juliana rocks her hips experimentally, pushes in up to the hilt, draws out slowly again, tries not to let the tip escape. All through the adjustment Valentina moves with her patiently, tossing her hair over one shoulder, peeking back with her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. Juliana’s heart pounds. 

“Don’t be gentle,” Valentina pleads. “Just- Juls,  _ please _ .” 

Juliana nods, because she understands. They’ve talked about this before, that Valentina doesn’t need to be treated like she’s made of glass, that she enjoys the rough stuff as much as the soft stuff, that sometimes the wild feelings fill her up and she needs the fire to burn until it hollows her out, but there is more to it for Juliana than just thrusting a little harder. There is El Chino. There is a genetic predisposition. There is her latent tendency toward anger, toward spite. There is the roiling, malevolent singularity of black emotions locked away deep in the catacombs of her heart. They’ve talked about it. They’ve discussed safe words and reassurances, that Juliana isn’t the only one with dark inclinations, but it still scares her to let go, to give in to the predatory hunger lurking just under the surface of her careful control. 

“It’s okay, Juls,” Valentina whispers raggedly. “You’re beautiful, okay? Pase lo que pase, te amo.” 

Juliana inhales deeply, closes her eyes, tilts her chin down and clenches her jaw. A hot, heady emotion overtakes her. Her hands feel heavy on Valentina’s slender body. Her teeth feel sharp. 

“I don’t want to be like him,” she replies, holding it back. 

“Never.” Val reaches back, disregarding the awkward angle, to touch Juliana’s hand. “Let go, my love.” 

Juliana inhales, exhales, opens her eyes, curls her lip.  “I get so angry sometimes.” 

“Show me.” 

Juliana’s control slips. She reaches up to knot her fingers in Valentina’s hair and tugs back firmly. Valentina gasps and groans her approval. Juliana thrusts in deep, hard, relishing in the tremors she feels against her thighs. It feels so strange, so satisfying. The darkness surges, seeping up through the cracks. A fog clouds her vision. She feels jealous and possessive, alarmingly so. Saliva fills her mouth as the urge overwhelms her to mark. 

She bends over Valentina’s back and applies her teeth to soft, damp skin. Her hips thrust in as deep as they can go. Valentina arches into it. The sound she makes is keening. Juliana’s rumbling reply is feral. She thrusts again, in and out, in and out, slapping their thighs together, and Valentina chases her every movement. Juliana pulls her hair tighter. 

It feels…

“So good,” Valentina moans. 

The rope continues to slip between Juliana’s hands, and finally she lets it go. They’re in freefalll now. It’s uncharted territory. She licks up Valentina’s spine and begins to fuck her in earnest. Her muscles are burning. She’s panting from the effort, but she only goes harder. There’s a gnawing hunger filling up her chest, jaws yawning wider and wider with every cry Valentina emits. Juliana cups Val’s breasts, squeezing and pinching and massaging. She rakes her nails over Val’s abdomen, up Val’s sides, down Val’s back. She wraps her hands around Val’s thighs and pulls hard, smacking their bodies together loudly, roughly. Valentina only continues her encouragements, slurred breathlessly from a heavy tongue. Her body has started to shake without ceasing. Juliana tightens her grip until she’s sure it’ll bruise. Until Valentina puts her weight on one arm and reaches down between her own legs to rub her clit. 

“Ahhh!” she cries out, and starts to spasm. 

Her muscles go tight, her body goes rigid, and she flops forward onto the bed. The toy slips free. Juliana has to catch herself on her hands as Valentina lies prostrate against the mattress, sweaty and gasping. The tremors that run through her are violent. 

Juliana strips off the harness in one and tosses it to the floor. The entire area between her legs is throbbing as she clambers onto the bed and presses herself against Val’s back, leaving kisses in a wet trail across the line of her shoulders. 

“Are you okay?” she asks. She nudges at the nape of Val’s neck and licks up the sweat gathering at her hairline. “Val?” 

Valentina huffs a laugh. Her eyes remain closed as a grin stretches her lips. She’s breathing so hard Juls is actually a little worried. 

“I’m wonderful,” she mumbles. 

Juliana’s heart melts. She lets her weight settle fully against Valentina and lays her head between her shoulder blades. She feels disconcertingly calm. Satisfied.

“Was it as good for you as it was for me?” Juliana jokes, after a couple minutes of lying together.

Valentina snorts. “I don’t know. You seemed to be enjoying yourself quite a bit.” 

Juliana flushes. “I think I needed that.” 

Valentina peaks one eye open. “I know you did.” 

Without warning, she shifts and rolls them over, putting Juliana on her back. 

“Whoa,” Juliana exclaims as Valentina pins her arms. “Hey-“

Urgent lips cover hers in a breathtaking kiss, then begin to trail down her jaw, her neck, her chest. Val’s tongue flicks across her nipple. She settles in to suck while Juliana writhes and moans. The ache in her core has reasserted itself with a vengeance. She’s so keyed up she can barely think. 

“I’m gonna go down on you forever,” Val promises, continuing her journey south. 

She tugs Juliana’s thighs apart and hunkers down between them, gaze fixed on her prize like a pair of headlights illuminating the road ahead. Juliana tries not to squirm, but her impatience is palpable. Valentina grins up at her, blue eyes sparkling. 

“I think we should go to Texas,” she says thoughtfully, leaning forward to lick fleetingly at Juliana’s center. 

“W-wait, what?” Juliana shudders. “Why?” 

Valentina withdraws, running her tongue across her lips. “I want to see where you grew up.” 

Juliana considers refusing outright, but something stops her.  “I’ll think about it,” she says. 

“Okay.” 

Val licks her again. It’s light, and teasing, but Juliana’s hips nearly fly off the bed. 

“Shit,” she hisses. 

“If you don’t want to go to Texas, I think we should go to Europe instead. Oh! Or what about Argentina? I have some cousins who live there.” 

“Val,” Juliana pleads. “You’re killing me!” 

“Oh, okay, baby,” she coos. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll get right to work.” 

She grins and demonstrates a teasing flick of her tongue. When, finally, she bends her head and presses her open mouth to Juliana’s center, the moan that spools out of Juliana is positively ragged. 

“Guapa,” Val whispers reverently. 

Juliana nearly cries. 

She comes so hard she sees stars, and then she really does cry. 

It’s not until two weeks later that she really thinks thinks about what it means that Valentina wants to visit Texas together. The memory of their conversation brings a blush to her cheeks as it floats through her mind in the middle of a boring textiles lecture. The tip of her pencil taps restlessly against the page of her notebook. She’s written down very little except the date in the top right corner, and suddenly it occurs to her that it’s almost October. 

She gets an idea. 

When she finally gets home, well after dark, she finds Val sitting in the living room with her laptop open, glaring intently at the screen. 

“I’ve been trying to write this article for ages,” she gripes, “but it just won’t come.” 

Juliana kisses the top of her head. “I need to talk to you about something.” 

Val’s posture straightens immediately. She turns to look over her shoulder at Juliana with wide, nervous eyes. Juls thinks of all the fights they’ve had and wonders when they’ll ever get past this, the fear that everything might shatter the next time they misunderstand each other. 

“Is something wrong?” Val asks, because of course that’s where her mind still goes when Juliana comes home looking serious. 

“No,” Juls says, and drops her bag on the floor. “Let me grab and a beer and I’ll explain. You want one?” 

“Gracias, pero no,” Val grumbles, expression clouding. “Necesito estar enfocada  hasta que termine este artículo.”

“Ah, bueno.” 

Juliana retrieves a Tecate and pops the top. With her father gone and Sergio’s profuse apologies well in the past, she does drink a little sometimes, though only a little. Only after long days such as this one, and never with anyone except Valentina, who has curbed her own habits quite a bit since the old days. 

“So, I was thinking,” Juliana says, as she pulls a glass down from the cupboard, “maybe we should go to Texas after all.” 

“Qu é ?” Valentina swivels around again, wide eyed. “Neta?” 

“ Sí, neta.” Juliana reaches for one of the limes in the fruit bowl and grabs a knife out of the block. “Maybe it’ll help me...I dunno. Move on.” 

“Right,” Val agrees, and nods solemnly. 

Juliana chops up the lime and runs a wedge of it around the rim of her glass before pouring the beer. When she returns to the couch, she settles down a respectable distance from Valentina, who is surrounded by notebooks and homework packets, and sips slowly at her drink. 

“I mean, do you want to talk about it?” Valentina prods, when Juliana has disappeared into her thoughts. 

“Oh. No, I guess not.” 

Valentina reaches over to squeeze Juliana’s knee. “When did you want to go?” 

“Este...fin de semana, yo creo.” Val blinks, and Juliana presses on. “Do you mind taking a couple days off school?” 

“I’ll take the whole damn week,” she says, a bit breathless. “My family practically paid for their library.” 

Juliana smiles. “I don’t know if we’ll need that long.” 

“I could use a vacation, Juls, to be honest.” 

“Seriously? But the term’s only  _ just _ started.” 

“I know! But c’mon, I was stuck in that internship all summer and- Hey, don’t laugh at me!” 

Juliana cackles while Valentina swats at her, but they end up kissing anyway, like they always do. Val’s papers crinkle and fall to the floor. Juliana’s beer nearly spills before she shoves it onto the coffee table. Valentina just sticks her laptop haphazardly on the arm of the couch.  

“I missed you,” Val says, tugging at Juliana’s lip with her teeth. 

“You just saw me this morning.” 

“And? Is that supposed to change how I feel, Miss Valdez?” 

Juliana kisses her soundly. “I missed you, too.” 

“Let me get the tickets,” Val says, when they break apart, “because we’re like, diamond members or whatever and we’ve got a gazillion air miles to use.” 

Juliana makes a face, of course, but in the end, after a vigorous bout of couch sex and a long, semi-naked cuddling session, she lets Valentina book everything. 

“It’s just easier this way,” Valentina explains. 

Which is true. It is much, much easier. But Juliana still has her pride, and she isn’t about to admit it to anyone anytime soon. 

-

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: what's up everyone i love this show! i hope our girls get a happy ending <3
> 
> if you liked my work please leave a comment! you can also squeal at me on my tumblr @aeschylusrex


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